If asked for a word that describes motherhood, I'd have to say a "hurricane". Giving birth, the days that followed with the non stop feeding and complete lack of sleep and absolutely no time for anything other than the baby seems like a blur to me three months down the line. It is only now that I can breathe a little better. I get time for some small luxuries like an extended bath (complete with music and dancing around the bathroom), reading time when I poop (I'm a major bathroom reader :D) watching some TV when I eat(best way to catch up on some soaps).
When i was pregnant, all i wanted to do was deliver. My mum laughed when i told her this and she said "just you wait. Once the baby is out, you'll want to stuff it back again!" And you know what? She was right. I used to be somewhat ashamed to admit that motherhood made me feel horrid at times because i wanted to seem a competent mother and almost always it would never pan out that way. All throughout my intial days I most dearly wanted to jump off a cliff; what with the post surgery pains, constantly crying infant, sleep deprived brain and being stuck in one place for what seemed like forever. I used to feel emotionally drained and just so powerless to face day after day of monotony. And that's when a close friend and a supermom came to my rescue. She gave a teary eyed me some simple tips on how to get over the baby blues.
They were really effective and hence I thought I'd share them with new mamas everywhere.
-A step back
The word "Mother" does not mean "do everything yourself". You're new to motherhood and trust me no matter what anyone says, it really is ok to take a step back and let more experienced people (preferably your own mum or an trusted relative) look after some aspects of your baby. Best to look on and learn the ropes. Slowly start trying things on your own under supervision and then before you know it you'll be able to do things great on your own.
For people staying abroad, this would be tough as you would be on your own. Make sure you join motherhood training classes before your delivery and ensure you get adequate training.
- Don't neglect your favorite activities
Be it watching your favorite soaps, reading, listening to music or painting, make sure you get sometime to get yourself involved in your favorite activities. The first month was an absolute time warp for me. I had no time for anything at all and I would be so exhausted by the end of the day. But by the 2nd month, I got myself a little TV time while I ate my meals, read a little while on the throne (major bathroom reader I am :)) and wrote before I went to sleep at night. And it was an absolute joy. I felt human after such a long time. Even 10 mins of your day dedicated to your favorite activities will make such a difference to your motherhood.
- Vent our your feelings
Keeping feelings bottled inside is the absolute worst way to develop resentment toward motherhood. If some days as a mother stress you out, do not bite your teeth and bear it. You don't have to really. Have a good cry, scream out really loud, a better solution? Call up a really close friend or the best solution? Call up another new mum and vent out your feelings together. You'd be surprised how many problems you share with other new mums.
-Wait to lose weight
Lady, you're body has been through hell with the massive amounts of weight gain, painful ligaments, backaches and water retention. A lot of insensitive losers may be quick to notice you post pregnancy weight and be even more quick to comment on it. Ignore them. Yes, you should get back into shape but do it at your own pace. You've had a little person pushed out your nethers or you might have had a c sec which is a major abdominal surgery. So take time and slowly start working out. Take a short walk, do specified exercises and never, ever rush the weight loss.
-Eat , Pray, Love
Do indulge in some of your favorite foods once in a while. A slice of pizza, some MSG free chinese, a decadent dessert. It's ok. Don't hate yourself for it. Your body is regulating its hormones back to normal and needs some TLC, so go ahead and dig into some of your comfort foods once in a while.
Do not forget to pray for a little while every day. It makes a world of difference and leaves you feeling calm and refreshed. Commune with your god and pass on some of your worries thataway.
Baby girls, love yourself! You've been through a lot for the past 9 months and you need to give yourself a bit of love and care. Call home a beautician and get some work done on yourself. When you look good, you will definitely feel good. A good massage (a short one), a facial, a good mani-pedi. Go ahead, spare 20 mins for yourself. You deserve it.
And finally,
-Be kind to yourself
Yes, we all ache to be supermoms but you know what, the more you exert yourself to reach competency, the more you distance yourself from it. Don't be hard on yourself if you go wrong, you'll get it soon enough and don't forget to hug yourself to bits when you get the hang of motherhood and everything that entails it. It is after all the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs in the world.
When i was pregnant, all i wanted to do was deliver. My mum laughed when i told her this and she said "just you wait. Once the baby is out, you'll want to stuff it back again!" And you know what? She was right. I used to be somewhat ashamed to admit that motherhood made me feel horrid at times because i wanted to seem a competent mother and almost always it would never pan out that way. All throughout my intial days I most dearly wanted to jump off a cliff; what with the post surgery pains, constantly crying infant, sleep deprived brain and being stuck in one place for what seemed like forever. I used to feel emotionally drained and just so powerless to face day after day of monotony. And that's when a close friend and a supermom came to my rescue. She gave a teary eyed me some simple tips on how to get over the baby blues.
They were really effective and hence I thought I'd share them with new mamas everywhere.
-A step back
The word "Mother" does not mean "do everything yourself". You're new to motherhood and trust me no matter what anyone says, it really is ok to take a step back and let more experienced people (preferably your own mum or an trusted relative) look after some aspects of your baby. Best to look on and learn the ropes. Slowly start trying things on your own under supervision and then before you know it you'll be able to do things great on your own.
For people staying abroad, this would be tough as you would be on your own. Make sure you join motherhood training classes before your delivery and ensure you get adequate training.
- Don't neglect your favorite activities
Be it watching your favorite soaps, reading, listening to music or painting, make sure you get sometime to get yourself involved in your favorite activities. The first month was an absolute time warp for me. I had no time for anything at all and I would be so exhausted by the end of the day. But by the 2nd month, I got myself a little TV time while I ate my meals, read a little while on the throne (major bathroom reader I am :)) and wrote before I went to sleep at night. And it was an absolute joy. I felt human after such a long time. Even 10 mins of your day dedicated to your favorite activities will make such a difference to your motherhood.
- Vent our your feelings
Keeping feelings bottled inside is the absolute worst way to develop resentment toward motherhood. If some days as a mother stress you out, do not bite your teeth and bear it. You don't have to really. Have a good cry, scream out really loud, a better solution? Call up a really close friend or the best solution? Call up another new mum and vent out your feelings together. You'd be surprised how many problems you share with other new mums.
-Wait to lose weight
Lady, you're body has been through hell with the massive amounts of weight gain, painful ligaments, backaches and water retention. A lot of insensitive losers may be quick to notice you post pregnancy weight and be even more quick to comment on it. Ignore them. Yes, you should get back into shape but do it at your own pace. You've had a little person pushed out your nethers or you might have had a c sec which is a major abdominal surgery. So take time and slowly start working out. Take a short walk, do specified exercises and never, ever rush the weight loss.
-Eat , Pray, Love
Do indulge in some of your favorite foods once in a while. A slice of pizza, some MSG free chinese, a decadent dessert. It's ok. Don't hate yourself for it. Your body is regulating its hormones back to normal and needs some TLC, so go ahead and dig into some of your comfort foods once in a while.
Do not forget to pray for a little while every day. It makes a world of difference and leaves you feeling calm and refreshed. Commune with your god and pass on some of your worries thataway.
Baby girls, love yourself! You've been through a lot for the past 9 months and you need to give yourself a bit of love and care. Call home a beautician and get some work done on yourself. When you look good, you will definitely feel good. A good massage (a short one), a facial, a good mani-pedi. Go ahead, spare 20 mins for yourself. You deserve it.
And finally,
-Be kind to yourself
Yes, we all ache to be supermoms but you know what, the more you exert yourself to reach competency, the more you distance yourself from it. Don't be hard on yourself if you go wrong, you'll get it soon enough and don't forget to hug yourself to bits when you get the hang of motherhood and everything that entails it. It is after all the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs in the world.
Congrats on your baby Teenu. You should write a book, no really. I am glad you wrote this. It's not condescending or patronising but most honest. And we almost always only see happy things online about mothering, so for the rest of us who are unsure about ever becoming mothers, this sort of real insider comment is in some sense really important. Keep writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much girl! I know a few new mums who have the baby blues and I was reallt hoping this could help them. It is stressful but once u feel ready for that little person in ur life, don't let anything stop you. One smile from your baby will make your day feel so magical...even if it is after he left u a fresh erm gift in his diapers! :D
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