Onward

Onward you sail

Little Captain mine

May your journey be blessed

With happiness divine

May you be loving

May you be kind

May you on your voyage,

True love find

Fill your soul with prayer

Let truth your life rule

Find your inner courage

To face the sea so cruel

Do not wander off

The path of righteousness

And may the lord almighty

Your every step abundantly bless

When the seas turn rough

And you feel you may fail

When your trusted crew members

Have all left you and bailed

I will be the compass in your hand

The scope you look through

I will be the wheel you turn

To get to places anew

While at sea little Captain

I will be the steadfast in your tale

Never feel lost little Captain

For I’ll always be the wind in your sails

Keeping up with the CRAWLashians

image source: pinterest

When my son turned a few months old, I prayed he would start crawling; because my arms screamed from carrying him around all the time. Now that he has started crawling, I dearly wish I could carry him again! My son doesn’t stay put in my arms anymore! It’s like the moment he sees a floor or any surface humanly possible to crawl on; he turns into the North Pole and the floor the South! Why, he is solely responsible for the sparkly clean floors in most of the shopping centres in my city!

Ok! Maybe that was taking things a bit too far and not to toot my own horn or anything but this little fella can crawl! He quite resembles a junior flash on an extreme glucose high!! One major plus that this has brought about is that I’ve managed to lose some post baby poundage and no one’s complaining. The major setback however is how careful we have to be at this stage. Take your eyes off for just a second and I literally mean a second and all hell can break loose! Expensive pottery would be in pieces all over the floor, the baby might fall and bump his head, people could trip over the baby and get hurt (been there, done that)…the list is exhaustive. Over time I have learnt to be a lot more cautious. Once I understood his crawl routine (yes, babies have one!) it was a lot easier to multi task and to safeguard him from bumps and falls.

Here’s my take on what to do when, how, why your little person turns into a CRAWLashian:

=) Insure expensive things yourself

The moment your baby starts showing an amazing aptitude for reaching out and grabbing only the most delicate and expensive items around the house, that’s the time to start “insuring”. In parenting terms (one I just made up actually) it means keeping breakables out of reach. Chuck keeping the house all decorated and gorgeous out the window and start placing all those delicate vases, glass jars and the like out of reach.

And whatever you do, do not encourage your baby to throw things off your vanity table. There is a high chance he will repeat the behaviour elsewhere and not everyone is as compromising or adjustable as you or your immediate family. My mum has been over indulgent and allows my son to wreck absolute havoc with the jars, bottles and tubes on her vanity table. I promptly pull him away but the very next day over indulgent granny and stupendously happy grandchild can be seen back at the scene of the crime! Sigh!

=) Stock up on barrier gates

One must encourage ones baby to explore; BUT there are some places that should be kept strictly off limits; like say stairs, the kitchen, the bathroom and others. This practice must be encouraged until your child is old enough to understand the purpose of a barrier. Once my baby started crawling, he grew tired of the places that I let him explore and was soon rushing to climb up and down the stairs, he made a disgusting habit of crawling into the bathroom and lying down on the wet rug and sweeping clean the floors of the kitchen. I promptly placed wooden barricades that were chin high. The most he could do is stand up, hold onto the barrier and peep in. He seems satisfied with that…for the time being.

=) Keep him at eye levels

I had this idiotic notion in my head when my son started crawling: “He can’t get far or get hurt…after all he JUST crawls!” Boy! Was I ever wrong! Trust me when I tell you this; this is no defined capability quotient when it comes to the heights a crawling baby can reach. I once had an urgent call coming in and I picked up my cell phone in the next room. When I came back 3 minutes later, my 10 month old son had climbed the bed, clambered over to the couch and stood like a conquering hero on the head of the couch; happily swatting a fly on the windowsill. I almost needed diapers myself that moment. Ever since then I have never, ever let him out of my sight. Always make sure that your baby in within your eye sight. Don’t take a breather thinking “ok, let him sit around the corner playing. I’ll check on him in a bit.” Bad move mama. The closer you are to him the better!

=) Inform his routine to anyone who looks after him

There are of course times when you need to leave your baby under someone’s care for a little while. First off, make sure that you leave your child with ONLY trustworthy relatives, friends or help. Secondly, do not fail to let them in on your child’s crawl routine. There may be some places he prefers playing in, some places that are hazardous, places he throws toys into, the route he takes from one spot to the next. Awareness is key here. Your child shouldn’t take the person looking after him by surprise. He/she should also be clued enough to stop or encourage the child crawling to specific areas. This in effect would be a major relief for you as well as a lot of mishaps can be prevented and explanations of “I didn’t know!”, “Why didn’t you tell me?” can be avoided.

=) Give him a taste of adventure

Having said all this, I advise you to do not over restrict your baby, as it not only will affect his progress from crawling to walking, it would also thwart his natural instinct to explore. When he crawls into a new, permissible space, be with him throughout. Make sure he is within your reach at all times.

Of course babies will bump their heads or get stuck. This is an important way of learning. There are some things that cannot be taught, but rather learnt. I had a lot of trouble trying to get my son to stop crawling under a low table to retrieve his ball. After days of saying no, coaxing him, distracting him and pulling him away, I gave in and let him crawl underneath. He bumped his head lightly and an important lesson was learnt that day. He has to this day not attempted to crawl under that table again. If his ball does roll under it, he just sits there, looks at me and points at the ball. Sometimes you just have to let them learn from their mistakes (*this does not mean you sit back and relax if he goes rushing toward the stairs!)

=) Scrub-a-dub-dub

I cannot even stress the importance of cleanliness at this stage. Babies develop differently, however, they have one freakishly similar habit: open mouth, insert dirty foot, hands and basically anything off the floor. That is why you always need to scrub clean his hands, knees, feet and face with baby soap and a soft cloth after every crawl session. Using warm, soapy water is ideal. If you are outside, keep baby wet wipes with antibacterial properties handy. A change of clothes or two is an absolute must when away from home. Obviously we have no control over cleanliness of floors or crawl spaces when we leave our homes, but we do have the control of the same while at home. Make sure your floors and in fact every space your baby crawls on is dust and dirt free. A lot of allergies and diseases start right from home!

=) Mama’s Pet

Speaking of allergies, crawling babies and pets are kind of like chalk and cheese. Say what you want about how friendly your pets are, how clean they are and how much they love the baby; at the end of the day It all comes down to the health of your child. I always make sure that my pets are separated from my baby while he crawls around. I simply close the barricade, wipe the floors clean and leave the baby to play with his toys while my pet goes about his business on the other side of the room. Free interaction with my pet will be allowed only after a few years, till then I am keeping him away from fur, fangs and saliva.

All the best to all those mamas who have CRAWLashians in their homes. Ladies, I feel you! And if you think this is tough…wait till he starts walking! Sigh!

Hello Outside World!

It's been months since you've seen the outside world. You've become so pale you've started resembling Bella from The Twilight series. You so badly long for a glimpse of what's happening beyond the four walls of the house that you keep your face plastered to the window and even a bird flying past fills you with crazy happiness!

Welcome to the world of the "first months after delivery". I'm thankfully past this phase and trust me when I say I I do not want to go back there again! Spending time with my little guy was fun but sometimes depressions sets in because every single day it was the same house, same room, same walls and same faces. Initially it doesn't seem so bad but after 3 months it becomes the worst sort of hell ever!
But then all of a sudden 4 months are over and everyone decides to take you and the baby for dinner OUTSIDE THE HOUSE. Happy? Yes, well here's a little secret. What you are about to face is the worst, more horrible nightmare ever! You'd never know what to expect. You'd never know what's going to happen.

I was super thrilled for our first outing and I was even more thrilled to reach back home! It was a total disaster. Everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong that day and by the time we reached back home all I wanted to do was turn back time and pretend like those 3 hours never happened! But then we did go out a few more times. Each time was a learning. Now I am a lot more prepared and I wanted to pass on some wisdom to all new mamas out there. These points come straight from personal experience. So here we go, tips on how to stay sane during outings ( especially dinner outings).

1) Take even the kitchen sink

The saying "everything but the kitchen sink" does apply here. For your first outings, take everything you feel your baby remotely needs. Anything and everything. Yes you will look like you've packed for a one way ticket to the moon but that's ok. After the first few outings you can slowly leave behind things you don't use much. And please pack your baby bag beforehand; not right when you leave. Chances are you will forget the most important things like diapers!

2) Strength in numbers

Planning to a romantic dinner with the hubby? With the baby and just you two around that is NOT going to happen. I know of a friend who spent her anniversary dinner with her husband taking turns holding the baby and eating dinner one at a time. Unless your baby sleeps throughout the dinner you can be rest assured that turns will be taken.
So even if your romantic bubble is busted, take a couple of trusted family members or friends with you. A group outing is best until you learn the ropes on how best to handle the baby on your own during outings.

3) The 10 minute dinner

Always be prepared to leave within the first half hour of entering the restaurant. You'd never know what could happen. The baby might scream away to Kingdom come. The baby might fall really sick and throw up all over. You might be totally uncomfortable in the restaurant. Whatever the pressing reason, always be prepared to run!

4) Snack and go

Which brings me to my 4th point. Always have a light, healthy snack before you leave the house. For my 1st outing,the baby cried so much we had to leave before we could eat anything and grabbing a take out burger on the way was the only option! So prepare yourself a nice snack before you leave for the restaurant. It really helps.

5) Dress appropriately

First outing and you want to look all flashy despite the post prenancy weight. Feeling good is great but not at the risk of complete inaccessibility. You need to be breast feed ready. What you wear should be such that you can easily lift or unbutton without having to wrestle. I made the mistake of wearing a tight salwaar for my 1st outing. With the baby screaming, me sweating and the salwaar sticking like a body suit to my flabby self I almost had to rip it in two just to get my baby to breast feed. You do not want to go there!

6) Call in advance

Make sure you call the restaurant in advance and let them know about your requirements. A crib or bassinet, a quiet corner of the restaurant for seating, a breast feeding area. Do not jump in and surprise them. The restaurant management would also appreciate the heads up and you would have ease of mind as well.

7) Quick bites

Make sure you order food that is easy to eat. Nothing that soils the hands and nothing that needs both ur hands occupied. Steaks and super saucy dishes are out of the question. Order something light and easy to spear using a fork would be best. Make sure you always have your hands clean and relatively free throughout the meal so that you can pick up your baby the moment he starts wailing.

8) Keep at it

And finally, do not give up! Sure even if your first outing was a disaster just keep at it! Things will slowly but surely start getting better; you would fall into rhythm and start enjoying yourself. So not stop trying!

Happy 1st outing ladies!

Hair Scare

Photo courtesy: healthzillion.com

Remember that period during our pregnancy when our hair and skin start looking great? That time when everyone keeps fawning over how our skin glows and our hair looks so thick and shiny? And we felt so beautiful it almost seemed like a dream? Now, what is the one thing about dreams that we all hate? Yes, sooner or later we all have to wake up to reality!

My reality came crashing down on me 3 months after my delivery and let me tell you, it wasn't pretty.
My mum had the baby room done up in blue and white with white sheets and blue edged pillows.
One morning on the start of my babys 4th month I woke up resembling an Oak tree in Autumn! Black squiggles of hair covered my white pillow cover and while shampooing my hair, I ran my fingers through it to find clumps of it coming clean off! I almost screamed out loud! Well, I did actually and my mum came running in to find me sitting on the throne bawling "I'm going bald!"

Here is the simple reason as to why we must give up our glorious mane post pregnancy: HORMONES! During pregnancy our body pumps itself full of pregnancy hormones which drastically reduces hairfall and once our little person is out, our body slowly gets the hormone levels back to normal. So basically post partum hairloss is all a result of peaked hormone levels returning to normalcy.

So the thick, gorgeous mane we grew will soon be shed and in copious amounts as well! But do not freak out like how I did because this is normal. In fact more than 50% of women have this so you're not alone! We get you! And not to fear! You will not go bald. In case you feel your hairfall hasn't reduced even after a year, then you need to consult your gyneac.

In the meantime here are some tips on minimizing hairfall that I personally found to be quite useful:

1) Be a gentle mistress

A lot of us love hairstyles so severe it looks like we've had a facelift done. This is a strict no no. Your hair is extremely fragile and dropping like crazy so trying out tightly bound hairstyles is kind of like adding fuel to the fire. So let your hair roots relax. Though a tight bun seems most comfortable while looking after your baby, I would suggest a really loose braid. Not only will you look really nice, you would also be giving your hair roots a teeny vacation as well!

2) Chemical factory alert

Hygiene is crucial during this time. Do shampoo and condition your hair. However, it is best to avoid shampoos with a high chemical content. Opt for milder shampoos and conditioners. Do not keep shampoo lather in your hair for long and steer clear of the roots while conditioning. Go natural and you can see a visible difference in your hairfall.

3) Oil and how

Oh my god! I cannot stress the importance of oil enough! I suggest applying warm almond oil right onto the scalp every alternate day. Leave on for 15-20 minutes, massage gently and shampoo lightly. I saw a visible reduction in hairfall after I started oiling my roots.

4) Trim away

We love our long hair, yes we do; but scanty long hair? Nah! Go to a good hairdresser and get a fab haircut. Short is good post pregnancy. Not only will your hair be easier to handle, trimmimg away your split ends will really help reduce the amount of hair you lose.

5) Crush the crash

Heard enough fat jokes post pregnancy? Well you need to just play deaf to all the taunters and go slow with the weight loss. A lot of water weight will go off on its own and with your baby becoming more and more active you will slowly but surely get your body back.

But whatever you do, PLEASE do not crash diet! One, you will be breast feeding and your baby needs all the nutrients it can get. And two, you need to sustain your health, because whatever nutrients you eat is being shared with your baby.

What you can do is cut off fried, fatty and extremely sugary foods from your diet and go fresh and healthy. Do snack once in a while and start a healthy diet (definitely not crash) only after your baby has adjusted to solids.
Sufficient nutrient intake is absolutely necessary for hair growth. If you do not provide your body with enough, you will not only lose your accumulated hair, you would also prevent new hair from sprouting. So load up on protein, iron and calcium rich foods. Do talk to your gyneac about taking Vit E and Vit D3 supplements. They make a world of difference.

6) Stress Buster

Post pregnancy period is no piece of cake. As a new mum I totally get where the stress is coming from. I have gone for days without sleep and without a moment to myself. Some days I feel so angry, irritated and stressed out that I could tear a telephone book in half. We've all been there I am sure. First off, take a deep breath, calm down and refer my very first article Whoaaa New Mama! which was written especially keeping new mums in mind.

I was extremely worried initially but now I'm fine because hallelujah! I see tiny hairs sprouting. I suppose we will all get our head of hair back to normal by the time our babies are a year old :) so just hang in there and stay happy happy!

Reading

So there is this kid I know. I came across him one day whilst he was super busy with an ipad. Clearing my throat several times (obviously he paid no heed) I asked him whether he's read "Harry Potter". His response? "Like duh! Haven't you heard of e-books before?" I didn't pursue the conversation post the reply though I dearly wanted to pick up his precious ipad and chuck it into a septic tank. (Knowing how crazy he was about It, I'm sure he would jump in after for sure!!)
I miss the kids of yesteryear where innocence was key and a smart kid was one who read the most books and not the one who could type the fastest. Keeping up with todays rapidly changing environment is one thing; but programming children into becoming some sort of junior android is completely another.

I'm old school when it comes to children and I intend to stay old school for as long as I live. My heart feels heavy when i see how kids nowadays miss out on the joys of childhood, especially when it comes to books and reading.
From when I was a child my mother ensured that I had access to some of the best books possible. From there on, my love for literature grew. There is such magic in a book. I mean one opens it and plays every word, ever page, every instance out in ones mind and enters into another world altogther. Of course there were the Enid Blytons and the Roald Dahls but the first novel that catapulted me into the world of "reading-under-the-night-light" was a Nancy Drew novel titled "The Girl who couldn't remember." I can't even begin to tell you how much I loved the book. I devoured each page and for a long time I worshipped Nancy Drew! I actually created some mischief or the other, pretended to leave clues and tried to solve the "case of the broken flower pot", "case of the missing keys", "case of the scratches on the walls";then a good case of "whacks from my mum" and there ended my career as a detective! Then of course I grew up and the first novel that took me to the next level was an amazing one "Tell me your Dreams" by the awe inspiring Sidney Sheldon. I fell in love with his writing and I've wasted (according to my folks ;)) precious many study hours glued to novels with the backup excuse every kid uses during study time "I have to use the bathroom!"

Don't get me wrong. I am hardly into what one might term "intellectual reading". I read for fun and I am picky about my authors. And though there are a set of authors whose works I adore, it took me a while to narrow down to one single author who blew my mind away with what he/she wrote. The inimitable Stephen King. Apart from the fact that he dabbles in horror which is my altime favorite genre, his level of imagination is one that stuns me every single time. Read "IT" and you'd understand what I am talking about. The man is a word warrior and one i worship! A teeny mission of mine is to collect every single book that he's authored. Halfway there already and I couldn't be prouder!

Which brings me to what I want to really talk about. Why I collect books and why I am building up a little library of my own. It is a little treasure trove that I would want to hand over to my son. I don't know if he will love reading ( I will try my best to inculcate that habit in him) and I also don't know the genres he would like (for all you know he would hate horror and be a die hard romantic) but it is in a way giving him a part of who I am. I have been collecting books since I was a teenager and for my son to see my progress; to see my path of travel from one book to another is something that I really want. Right now he's a baby and as I watch him sleep I wonder how well he would know me as he grew into a man. Would he know his mother as well as he should? Would he understand me as an individual? If I am unable to make him understand maybe my books can. When he sees the titles, the authors; I hope he can see who I stand for as an individual. And to remember the kind of person I was for when I am not around. Someone with an overactive imagination, who is completely floored by humour, pretends to hate romance but always has the heart of a girl in love, prefers enriching thoughts to faking intellectual ones and someone who always and for ever more will live to read a tale or two for the love of reading.

Whooaaa New Mama!

If asked for a word that describes motherhood, I'd have to say a "hurricane". Giving birth, the days that followed with the non stop feeding and complete lack of sleep and absolutely no time for anything other than the baby seems like a blur to me three months down the line. It is only now that I can breathe a little better. I get time for some small luxuries like an extended bath  (complete with music and dancing around the bathroom), reading time when I poop (I'm a major bathroom reader :D) watching some TV when I eat(best way to catch up on some soaps).
When i was pregnant, all i wanted to do was deliver. My mum laughed when i told her this and she said "just you wait. Once the baby is out, you'll want to stuff it back again!" And you know what? She was right. I used to be somewhat ashamed to admit that motherhood made me feel horrid at times because i wanted to seem a competent mother and almost always it would never pan out that way. All throughout my intial days I most dearly wanted to jump off a cliff; what with the post surgery pains, constantly crying infant, sleep deprived brain and being stuck in one place for what seemed like forever. I used to feel emotionally drained and just so powerless to face day after day of monotony. And that's when a close friend and a supermom came to my rescue. She gave a teary eyed me some simple tips on how to get over the baby blues.
They were really effective and hence I thought I'd share them with new mamas everywhere.

-A step back
The word "Mother" does not mean "do everything yourself". You're new to motherhood and trust me no matter what anyone says, it really is ok to take a step back and let more experienced people (preferably your own mum or an trusted relative) look after some aspects of your baby. Best to look on and learn the ropes. Slowly start trying things on your own under supervision and then before you know it you'll be able to do things great on your own.
For people staying abroad, this would be tough as you would be on your own. Make sure you join motherhood training classes before your delivery and ensure you get adequate training.

- Don't neglect your favorite activities
Be it watching your favorite soaps, reading, listening to music or painting, make sure you get sometime to get yourself involved in your favorite activities. The first month was an absolute time warp for me. I had no time for anything at all and I would be so exhausted by the end of the day. But by the 2nd month, I got myself a little TV time while I ate my meals, read a little while on the throne (major bathroom reader I am :)) and wrote before I went to sleep at night. And it was an absolute joy. I felt human after such a long time. Even 10 mins of your day dedicated to your favorite activities will make such a difference to your motherhood.

- Vent our your feelings
Keeping feelings bottled inside is the absolute worst way to develop resentment toward motherhood. If some days as a mother stress you out,  do not bite your teeth and bear it. You don't have to really. Have a good cry, scream out really loud, a better solution? Call up a really close friend or the best solution?  Call up another new mum and vent out your feelings together. You'd be surprised how many problems you share with other new mums.

-Wait to lose weight
Lady, you're body has been through hell with the massive amounts of weight gain, painful ligaments, backaches and water retention.  A lot of insensitive losers may be quick to notice you post pregnancy weight and be even more quick to comment on it. Ignore them. Yes, you should get back into shape but do it at your own pace. You've had a little person pushed out your nethers or you might have had a c sec which is a major abdominal surgery. So take time and slowly start working out. Take a short walk, do specified exercises and never, ever rush the weight loss.

-Eat , Pray, Love 
Do indulge in some of your favorite foods once in a while. A slice of pizza, some MSG free chinese, a decadent dessert. It's ok. Don't hate yourself for it. Your body is regulating its hormones back to normal and needs some TLC, so go ahead and dig into some of your comfort foods once in a while.
Do not forget to pray for a little while every day. It makes a world of difference and leaves you feeling calm and refreshed. Commune with your god and pass on some of your worries thataway.
Baby girls, love yourself! You've been through a lot for the past 9 months and you need to give yourself a bit of love and care. Call home a beautician and get some work done on yourself. When you look good, you will definitely feel good. A good massage (a short one), a facial, a good mani-pedi. Go ahead, spare 20 mins for yourself. You deserve it.

And finally,

-Be kind to yourself
Yes, we all ache to be supermoms but you know what, the more you exert yourself to reach competency, the more you distance yourself from it. Don't be hard on yourself if you go wrong, you'll get it soon enough and don't forget to hug yourself to bits when you get the hang of motherhood and everything that entails it. It is after all the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs in the world.

From New Mums everywhere

*Disclaimer: yes this blog may upset, irritate or hurt some of you, but please if you fall into any of the categories of people mentioned below, do not go anywhere near a new mum. Especially one who looks like she hadn't had 2 months worth of sleep.

I am a 2 and a half month old mother and for those mothers who have just started this stage as well you know I do not intend to have all rosy happiness in this blog. This is a pure rant and nothing more!
Of course I am happy that I have a beautiful baby but ooooh! The perils one has to undergo the first few months is like hell on earth! And I am not even talking about the baby crying non stop, or the crazy late night feeds or the mountains of poop one has to clean up or the lack of months of sleep or being a complete emotional and physical mess; I am talking about the people around (who contribute in no way whatsoever to taking care of my baby or making me feel better in any way) who make my new found mumhood a living hell. And what kind of people are these you ask? Well here goes.

1) The easygoers
These are the singles, the just married and those who choose not don't have a baby quickly. They see you struggle day in and out with the baby with no sleep or a single moment to oneself and despite that say "wow! Having a baby is not so bad! It looks like fun!" People, having a baby is definitely not a bad thing but it is not easy excuse me! The baby doesn't go buy a coke, I feed it throughout the day, notice the clean diaper the baby is wearing? I cleaned up the poop and changed it, oh you see this beautiful new nightdress I'm in? I changed clothes at least a 100 times for each time the baby throws up on me! And the bags under my eyes? Oh it's not the latest in fashion,  I haven't slept for days and days. So no it's not easy so quit saying it is!

2) The advicers
This section is absolutely unbearable! It consists of the older generation aunties and some random uncles who shower you with the weirdest tips and tricks to look after the baby. Kind of like if the baby has a cough spin it in a circle three times and hold it upside down under a full moon sort of thing. Ok it isn't so corny but come on! Science has come a long way and I'd rather listen to an ENT specialist than blow air into my kids ears in order to clear them (yes, people do that!). These old aunties won't let you get out of bed with the excuse of rest, won't let you watch TV (women who just gave birth shouldn't watch anything! ), make you eat horrendous kashayams (medicinal mixes) and give the funniest, most supertitious methods to cure any sickness the baby has. Thank you very much but I'd rather have a doctor not a witch doctor look after my child.

3) The show offs
This group consists strictly of women who just want to make you feel like you have taken permanent residence in Hades. They would come around under the pretence of seeing your baby and then turn you green with jealously with talk about how awesome the outside world is. That kind of talk feels like you've replaced tissue paper with sandpaper for your privates. Here you are recovering from shoving a person out your below; looking very much like a beached whale and feeling pretty much like you belong in the stone age when this woman waltzes in going on and on about the tiny new clothes she bought, about the foreign trip she is going to take, about the awesome new restaurant she tried and about the latest movie she saw. Some even have the audacity to ask about the last movie we saw. Hmmm, well let me see, that would be a 4D scan of my son moving around inside me. There was action (he was super active), there was drama (I cried a river), there was romance (my husband and I embraced) and there was horror (imagining the baby coming out of me). Why don't you go catch up on that movie soon too hmmm?

4) The sticky sickly
Look, a new born has been inside the protective womb of the mother unexposed to anything bad until he or she comes out. A baby is extremely fragile and needs to be treated with care. And of all the people it is the extremely sick who never seem to get this. These guys may be coughing their lungs out, rubbing their eyes to blindness, snorting away putting pigs to shame and producing snot like a factory but no matter how drop dead they look and feel, they simply have to hold the baby! And since this is India and people get hurt super fast, you just grind your teeth into dust while watching an extremely sick person coughing much love onto your babys face. People if you are sick PLEASE do not touch babies. And do not be insulted if someone asks you not to either. End of the day, you gift the germs and walk away and I am left with a sick baby. It is not fun. Period.

5) The supermoms
These moms could well be the brand ambassadors for The Darvins theory of survival on steroids. I mean seriously how does one woman know everything about babies and their upkeep? One moment she would have a hungry, sleepy baby with a dirtied diaper screaming its head off, if you bat an eyelid, the baby would have a clean diaper, be fed and sleeping comfortably in his crib while supermama could be seen taking freshly baked brownies out of the oven for her 2 elder kids. These mums just constantly suprise you with facts and information about babies and everything under the sun regarding babies. You can't help but love-hate them. You find yourself hating them; secretly killing them in your head over and over for being so competent while you feel like a bumbling fool covered in poop and drool; yet you keep running to them for factoids about your child.  Can't live with them can't live without them really.

6) The fault finders
Now these people are seriously demonic! Know how every child is gorgeous to his or her parents? Well these fault finders say everything in the book to reiterate that warm fuzzy feeling you have in your head when you look at your baby. "Wow! She looks just like a boy!" "He has such a girly face. Don't ever grow his hair", "He looks like he's going to have bow legs", She's so dark! How will you get her married off? (A month old baby? Seriously?), "He looks like his grandfather, shame he wasn't a handsome fellow", "it's ok. A lot of girls are hairy nowadays".
If I want an opinion about my baby (which I don't) I will ask and only then need you open your mouth which in my frank opinion needs to be fitted with an enormous gobstopper.

The supermoms say that babies get a lot better after 6 months. 3 down, 3 more to go so until then, the above mentioned people would do themselves good to stay away from this sleep deprived new mama.

I feel you

Presence announced through the tiniest of prods

A much loved lil someone lies hidden inside

I promise to cherish and protect you angel mine

And by the laws of unconditional love, always abide.