It’s a miracle that I have been walking for as long as I have now. Usually I throw in a rather sweaty towel by the end of day 3 but thankfully my neighborhood is pretty nice, hence walking does not become too much of a drag. But to reach this point of bliss there is a long and tedious road that I need to travel. Actually opening my eyes and getting up from bed would be a starter. My body actually anticipates the alarm even before in rings and my bio clock would have me alert internally even before the drone starts. I groan inwardly and promise to get up after a minute or so. Sometimes the minute turns into a half hour and et’ voila I have missed my walk. Trust me I would not feel even half as guilty if I had killed a man and hid him in my basement. I think it’s a woman thing!
So by the end of the day if I have missed my walk, I am all grumpy and irritable and feel totally guilty! My sister told me that I don’t just glow after my walks, I “glow, glow!” And that makes me feel even more miserable because I have missed the “glow, glow” that makes heads turn!
To overcome this, I have developed a series of 6 very effective wake up lines that add a spring to step the moment I hear the alarm!
1) You don’t want to get up huh? Sure just lie about till your ass becomes ginormous! Then you sure as hell won’t be able to get up again!
2) Enjoy your sleep Ms. Walter Hudsen!
3) Remember that gorgeous satin dress on sale. The one you would great in if you were not so fat!
4) 3 slices of pizza happily making its way down to your butt and thighs
5) Just look at your sister for 3 minutes. Go ahead take a small peak. Do you still want to lie in bed?
6) Imagine if a zombie apocalypse happens…I don’t think the zombies are going to take pity and leave you alone just because you can’t run a minute without getting an asthma attack!
Yeah these lines usually get me up and running! If nothing works then a well aimed kick from my sister usually does! Any suggestions for more wake up lines? I need really effective ones!