Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Walk with me: "Dog Tales"

Chennai I tell you is rife with dogs of every breed. And how do I know this? Of the two weeks that I have gone for my walks, I would have seen at least ten different dogs per day with a few that I have singled out because of their peculiar behavior. It’s like every turn I take presents me with a dog waiting to snap at my heels or a huge pile of dog turd that would love to join me for my walks. Please do understand that I love dogs! But some of them can be quite tiresome.
The ones that I have singled out are rather predictable. I can predict to the "t" when these doggies would even lift their leg for a leak. Of the 45 mins that I walk I encounter a few such predictable characters.

There is a decrepit little tea shop that some guys from my office sneak out to for some chai and chit chat. So I pass by that place a few times in the morning and I see the guy there doing stuff that the patrons should never see be done to their food. He was oogling a bit so I usually keep my head all high and mighty in the air when I walk past the place. One day however I happened to catch some movement right next to him and saw the most adorable little dog ever! It was so cute and furry and had the most amazing glittery eyes! But do not mistake this quiet demeanor one bit! One morning I happened to see the same cutiepie rip the lungi off a passerby! His star studded undies were not a delight I tell you!

Another dog I encounter is a vile, cruel beast and as weird as dogs can get! Forget the fact that the word Pomeranian stands for everything sweet, cute and cuddly because this dog thinks it’s a Doberman in a teeny weeny Pomeranian body! It constantly barks at anything it comes across. Right from humans scared shitless (the midget packs a real loud bark!) to rocks, paper bags, walls, flowers you name it and it’s been barked at! A tiny kid on a tricycle could flatten the fiend but does it care? No! And its owner is another piece of work. She plods along side the cretin; scratching her tousled hair and tripping on her voluminous night dress (with underskirt half out) tugging at its collar with great gusto while stealing flowers from all the neighboring houses! Plus this dog is the only one I have seen that drags its ass on the road and pees in a straight line! No I mean it! An absolute straight line!

Yet another dog I see everyday is one that thinks it is human. In fact the first time I saw this unusual canine, I thought there was some role reversal taking place! I was walking past a house and I noticed a cute golden retriever on the terrace. It would have stayed as cute as ever if I had not noticed that it was sitting on a chair. For 10 whole minutes the retriever and I stared at each other. It sat perfectly still watching the happenings on the road like any other human would. After a bit, its owner comes onto the terrace and gives it a saucer of tea and some dog biscuits! So there was the dog lapping up tea and crunching on bits of biscuit like any old timer who loves spending the early morn lazing.

Whatever the case may be, my morning is just not complete if I don’t come across these dogs, yes even the one with the “pee in a straight line” syndrome! Did I tell you about the time I was almost chased down by a bunch of strays playing hide and seek? I guess that’s a story for another time.

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