It’s just once in a blue moon that I have a normal, marriage-free chatter with my mum. This one “blue-moon” time we spoke about clothes and shopping and dieting and fun memories. I was so happy I really wanted to beg her to stay normal forever! I guess I spoke too soon because she did indeed start talking about marriage (not mine thankfully) but about Eminem’s!! I know it sounds wack having a conversation about a disturbed rap star with ones mum but yeah it happened!
Apparently she was with my brother when a couple of Eminem’s songs came on VH1 and amid the huge jumble of cusses and swears, my mum managed to ask my brother what the heck the “American in the ready to fall off pants was blabbering”.
So full of knowledge about Eminem’s torrid life, she decided to have a chat with me about never getting married to someone like him!
This in fact got me thinking…Imagine being married to a rap star? Here are the top 10 things I think a rap star’s wife would be binding herself to when she says yes to the bling:
1)She can never ever divorce him without the fear of being ridiculed and cursed about in his upcoming album
2)She needs to have big bootay…else he would go hunting for one
3)She has to make room in her closet for his umpteen number of hats, king sized jeans, fur coats, high tops and what not
4)Her hubby would outshine her when it comes to bling
5)She would always be addressed as “bitch”, “ho”, “mama” and “woman”
6)She better not get him pissed what with the umpteen number of guns he would have hidden under his voluminous coat
7)She cannot look at another guy without having to start a gang war
8)She must never, ever remind him of his mother…most rap stars have an issue with theirs!
9)He would have a number of flings and she would have to smile and swear that it was her hubby’s doppelganger!
10)She would have to be involved in constant cat fights just to get noticed because anyways her hubby would steal the spotlight!
I’m sticking with a nice Indian boy (if there’s any of that kind left in the world!) I really don’t want to live a life being judged on the size of my assets or that of my wardrobe! Sheesh!