Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Hubby-to-be from HELL- Part 1

**A true story

Morning dawned bright and clear. D yawned and stretched herself.
“What a lovely day!” said she! Springing up from bed; she started getting ready for office. With a happy little tune playing in her head, she declared that the day was officially going to be perfect! Little did she know that her woman’s intuition was way off track that day! Matters were slowly moving into the twilight zone…

D was hard at work when she receives a mail from her father about a marriage proposal that seems quite promising; amongst the umpteen number of goons she had seen! She agrees with her mother to meet the guy and his family during the weekend.

The day complete, D goes home to a nice dinner, a movie and the sack.She was on the phone with me chatting about the day’s events when she said “Odd! There is this number that has been calling me repeatedly for the past half a hour…Oops! Now my dad’s calling me…call you back!”

That was the last I heard from her... for that that night that is!

I had taken the morning off the next day. When I reached office after lunch, an ashen faced D pulled me to a corner. She looked disturbed and extremely frantic!

She told me again about the unknown number that kept buzzing her in a never ending manner. Her dad had called up saying that the guy wanted to speak to her and it was he who was trying to call her about a gazillion times! At 10! (Any time after 8:30 is considered highly disrespectful in the Indian Proposal scenario for any guy and gal to talk to each other!)

D said the guy gave a missed call after her dad hung up and with a teensy thought of “cheapskate” she called up the guy. They spoke for a while and all seemed peachy keen,as they always do.Little did she know that her life would be at threat the coming day!

The guy apparently had given D a “missed call” again in the morning and as we had a meeting she could not return the call. After a while she called back and the person who answered seemed so beast like that for a moment she thought the guy’s life was written by Robert Louis Stevenson!!!!!
So went the conversation:
Please note: PG stands for Psycho guy

PG: “So I gave you a missed call.”
D: “Oh! It was a missed call huh? Why could you not have called?”
PG: “Why didn’t you return my call?”
D: “I was in a meeting. Just got out.”
PG: “Ok. I have to get in for a meeting too. Call me at 10 tonight.”
D: “I’ll try. I don’t know what time I’ll get home for sure.”
PG: “Fine then don’t bother."

The dial tone hummed in D‘s ears.
Thinking the line got disconnected, D calls back.

D: “hey did it get cut?”
PG: “That’s ok. Call me if you want to.”

A second round of dialer tone. This went on for atleast 4 times till finally:

D: “Please move to some place where have range!”
PG: “I was cutting the calls!”
D: “What do you mean?? Why? I told you I would try calling because I was not sure when I would get back!”

Then PG went into a monologue that would have encouraged any woman to pick up her Manolo Blahniks or Bata slippers and cause some serious damage!

PG: “What the hell do you think of yourself? I am insulted that you said you would TRY to call me and did not confirm that you would call me! I also work in a big office, the only difference is that you are in Chennai and I am in Cochin! If you show such attitude now, imagine how the case is going to be after marriage! I have a good mind to tell my parents about your behavior! If this is how it is going to be then I don’t think we should meet on Saturday. I can get much better girls so you need not bother! I am going to tell my dad about this! Shall i? Shall i?” (Complete monologue in pure mallu tones!)

By this time D had reached the point of no return and just screamed:

She called her folks and told them the guy was psycho and not worth coming all the way to (forget cochin) even the next cubicle to meet! It was all sorted out when her dad suddenly calls her and tells her that there has been some confusion. The REAL guy had called up her folks and said that he was never the one who spoke to D!
D was reeling with this new piece of information!
Her father gave her a number and said the REAL guy wanted to speak.
D took the number down on a piece of paper, stared at it phone in hand…

Will D make the call? What does the REAL guy have to say? Who was that mysterious, uncouth caller? What the hell is happening?

“The Hubby-to-be-from hell part 2” coming up soon!


  1. hey... good beginning.. waiting for Part 2!

  2. Hey I think I have heard this story before.... :)

  3. aahh.. sounds like a perfect Priyadarshan movie plot.. :D let me guess.. the mysterious guy must be the Driver of Mr.X and Mr.X must have posted the loyal guard of his wheels to spy on the girl :P

  4. I sincerely wish this was a script from a bad Bollywood movie. Chances are that its not, and chances are even higher that her folks will still make her meet the deuche bag! Ai! Its a wonder Indian men have managed to procreate (sp?) All theses years.

  5. Seems like a thriller...