The List

How is it that amongst the 6,802,800,000 numbers of people on Planet Earth, parents are quite adept at selecting the right men for their daughters and the right women for their sons?
Prepare to be introduced to the checklist from hell!
This checklist has been making rounds since the very institution of marriage was introduced! It is by far the most infallible method to pick and choose the crème de la crème from amongst the “who-are-you’s” in the marriage market…

I have now revealed to you the trade secret of perfect bride and groom picking, as established by parents the world over (more specifically, India). The “Eternally-correct-bride-and-groom-list”. This list is carried all over by marriage brokers, aunts and uncles and most of all parents. The list contains all the traits by which a bride or a groom should be selected. Move away from this list and as legend goes, the girl might end up with a guy who does not have a green card or shudder! Even have a love marriage!

The traits that are to be present in the perfect bride or groom would be selected from head to toe across generations and engraved into our head so bad that the moment we see a guy or girl a shade darker than the list demands, a frown surfaces!

Let me give you examples of the perfect bride and the perfect groom as per THE LIST:

The perfect girl: “Should be about (5’2”), fair, slim, straight hair, very good looking. Must know 5 languages and speak English exceptionally well and must not speak a word unless spoken to. Must be a single daughter and the father should be well off enough to pay a large sum of dowry. Must dress very well but never to outshine the mother or sisters in law. Must be able to cook 8 different styles of dishes and prepare a feast for 20 people within 4 hours. She should be well educated but never mention it in public, especially if her husband is slightly under qualified. She should be a virgin both physically and emotionally! Should have never known the taste of cigarette smoke and alcohol. She must be able to do all household chores without a single complaint. She should ideally sit at home busy with cooking, household chores, giving birth and raising babies. And to top it all off…she should be worshipful to her in laws.”

There! You have the perfect bride!

The perfect groom: “Should be from Overseas or have a green card!”

Oh come now! Don’t roll your eyes! Ask any gal! Or better yet, ask the creators of this list…the Parents!!!