Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The much awaited BANQUET

Yes sure I must have already mentioned that I sound like a total pseudo feminist with all the gyaan sessions that I’m unloading right now…but you know something? There is actually one reason why I look forward to proposals visiting home. Surprised? I’m sure you would like the three hour torture for the same reason! Nibbles galore!

Food actually plays a HUGE role in the whole proposal scenario. In fact, I have been through so many; I now possess the unparalleled talent of distinguishing how important a particular proposal is based on just the type of food served! I kid you not!
The broad classification for any proposal that crosses my path would be: The Gold winner, The Test dummy and the Forthesakes.

The gold winner is the pride and joy of any matrimonial website. Tall, fair, handsome with rich parents, an awesomely paying job, a killer American accent and a home in the US to die for. I have encountered a couple of these golden geese whilst ducking some of those shit poopy crows on that long proposal road.

The main point one should look at to identify the Gold winner is to see how many days back the parents start talking about the food. If they start preparations at least three days in advance, then you have a Gold Winner on your hands.

Gold Winners at my home are treated like kings who won triple lotteries at the same time. They would either be treated to amazing food from the best restaurants or better yet that food brought home!

The staple for a Gold Winner: Apple juice with milk! Absolutely yummy, cold and sugary (I’m barred from this one!), Follow the sugary bliss with some nonsensical conversation, some fly swatting here and there and then we move on to the nibbles:
Sausages! Tiny little meat samosas! Cashewnuts! Pastries! Tarts! (Point to be noted: The number of sweet dishes on the table is also key in identifying the kind of proposal!) Chicken Club Sandwiches! And maybe some puffs or cutlets! Gold Winner Y’all!
Trust me on this one Ladies! The moment your folks start loading the table…be warned that you are in for a lot of tension, especially if it’s a proposal that you don’t like at all.