The "DWHYMTE" Club

(Of hand, I would like to warn you that during the upcoming entries, if you should find some semblance between the story and any individual, place, event or group that you would know of, please note that the story is then indeed about THAT very person, THAT very place, THAT very event and THAT very group! Cheers!)

I think the first entry about the girl should start of with a bang. I like to call her Teens. So do all her friends…she has a myriad of them but somehow I feel that I stand closest to her heart. She is the kind of girl, who loves to express herself through words and most of the lashings out are done in a rather funny manner!
I thought I would share with all of you a piece of her life that is all in all consuming in every sense…time, energy…you name it and you have a black hole there!

The black hole I am talking about is a word dreaded by the free spirited and a word anxiously awaited by yon maidens who think that’s the end all of life…that’s right…marriage! 

Teens has been through quite a bit! She has experienced every emotion that the world of marriage fixing has to offer. It would only be fair to call her a veteran in this field!
She’s shared with me quite a few hilarious tales which I’m sure would have your sides splitting and maybe, just maybe help you relate to her more as a woman than just another individual…read on…This is the story of Teens and marriage…as said to me by Teens, this time, with a vengeance!

The “DWHYMTE” club

“I now pronounce you husband and wife…”
The line that every woman in the world wanted to hear sometime in their life. Me too. But I was accustomed to hearing it from a third party perspective; the audience perspective. This time it was my dear cousin sister on the altar with her hubby in ten minutes flat. I must admit that she looked lovely. Radiant and beautiful. And it was not the pounds of “photo make-up” that she had on, she was genuinely happy! I did feel happy for her though, she was after all my most darling cousin and I adored her.
As she made her way down the altar and passed by where I stood throwing confetti into the air, she gave me a look that suddenly turned my upside down rainbow into a thin line of static.
I could recognize that look even from another planet! It was the “don’t-worry-honey-you’ll-get-married-too-eventually!” look . A quick scan of the church confirmed that a tribe of “don’t-worry-honey-you’ll-get-married-too-eventually!” aunties was set to descend down on me very soon!
I quickly rushed out of the hall gathering a few disapproving looks in the process.
Finding solace and comfort amongst the bushes surrounding church I pondered over the greatest conspiracy brewing on planet earth. The DWHYMTE club. I’m sure you would have pretty much guessed the full form by now.

It’s like a Taliban group consisting of married and engaged and “un-available” women (though I suppose the last group gets complete access only after a ring is visible on their left hands). Their agenda is pretty much simple and the club members? Even simpler! Some one with a good head for permutations and combinations could figure this club in a snap. Let’s just set the basics. There are the agony aunts who spend their lives figuring out the un-married and actually taking the trouble to find out eligible grooms and brides for the non-members (this group can further be divided into those that get good partners and those that are just out to set people up with the most horrendous partners- knowingly or unknowingly), then there are those aunti-jis who represent the word gossip (eg: I know why she is not getting married! A trusted source (a friend’s cousin’s brother’s wife’s friend no doubt!) told me she aborted twice and that the whole world came to know! Chee! The things girls do nowadays!). Then there are those souls forced into the club through the ties of marriage. I like this bunch. It’s just a no trouble for anyone don’t harm us and we won’t harm you sort of existence for these ladies.

My mother is quite an active member of this club and her life’s interest revolves around getting me into the same. I for one am comfortable with the bush I’m in at the moment. When you think about it it’s the un-married that actually have all the fun! The amount of attention! Damn! These ladies just can’t stop talking about us! If you are someone unmarried, welcome to the “I’m out for DWHYMTE blood club!” I’m president. Posts of secretary, treasurer and royal snitch up for grabs!

Old saying: “The grass is greener on the other side.”
New saying: “Just wear green tinted glares and quit complaining!”