Thursday, January 1, 2015

A Bus Ride

Today, after a gap of more than 10 years, I boarded a bus.
It was more out of whim than  necessity and for some reason I missed travelling in that red box on wheels. I decided right then and there to pay my college days, replete with one a million bus rides a visit.

Maybe things had changed I foolishly hoped! Maybe things were better with buses in Cochin I thought chucking aside the newspaper article I had read through that very morning about a gruesome bus accident.
So I walk over to the bus stop prepared for a long wait. And when I say the bus stop was crowded, I mean crowded like a 5 for 1 sale! And some how I was pushed into the midst of it all! Since I am blessed with incredibly short legs, I could hardly see the name boards of the buses flying past. I somehow managed to push past a rather touchy feely crowd only to see bus headed to Fort Cochin whiz past me!

"Eeeeyyy!" I yelled total malluness taking over! A group of wannabe commuters also yelled the same. The super bus driver with his supersonic hearing power stopped the bus almost a mile away from the stop. And then my worst nightmare happened. People started running toward the bus. I had to run as well else I would have a really long wait ahead of me. I don't have an ounce of sports blood in me. I run like the offspring of a sloth combined with that of a seal. Yes, you can imagine the grace. Braving the mouth opened stares I ran or gallopped or whatever it is that sealsloths do full post pregnancy weight and all, all the way to the waiting bus.
The moment my foot made contact with the footboard the anorexic little rat of a conductor clanked the bell and super driver started driving pretty much like the Knight bus in Harry potter. Thanks to two aunties who grabbed hold of me I managed to not become a smashed cutlet on the road.

Of course there was no space in the bus. My favorite place to stand was the space right behind the driver. that way I was away from the sweaty, sticky, pushy crowd and of course away from the perverts who enter buses wondering what to do next with their privates. And of course luck wasn't a lady right then as my favorite space waa occupied by 4 mega brats who were playing a game of "how to annoy the driver enough so that he crashes!

I was crushed right into the middle of the bus. I really didn't have to hold into anything either. The thick crowd had me bolstered in nice and tight. Into this can of sardines, the rat conductor tried to pummel through. Using me as a pole he leaned on giving everyone tickets. "Hello Chetta! Move!" I said. He pretended not to hear me and actually stomped on my foot while passing me my ticket! Even before I could react the rat had melted into the crowd at back of the bus.
Suddenly I felt faint. There was a sickening smell right near my face. Thank god I didn't turn fully. I would have driven myself face first into a super sweaty armpit! A lady had managed to wedge her arm on my shoulder and swing her armpit near my face and even worse my nose! Lord help me!

Right at that moment heaven appeared! My favorite space was free. I would have made any high jump record holder proud the way I jumped through the crowd and grabbed that spot. And then it was bliss. I plugged in my ear phones and smiled when the wind tousled my hair. I took a trip back to my college days when travelling by bus was routine and so much fun! I gazed at houses,trees and traffic rushing past, lost in yesteryear.

Soon I reached my stop. Oh yes! I gave the conductor exactly was he deserved. The rat was standing near the door. He had on chappals when he stomped my foot. I had on wedge heels!