Friday, June 13, 2014

Rain, rain go the F away!!

I hate school, white uniforms and the rain specifically in that order. It's like I've been born with a triple jinx. Everytime it was white uniform day at school it would rain...and hard! So what you ask? What are raincoats and umbrellas for you say? Well let me tell you even a titanium suit is not going to protect the rain jinxed.
Facebook has off late been filled with pictures of drenched people, places, animals and things. Exclaimations "oh rain!" "Ah rain!" "it's finally raining" are lovely enough to read as long as I am warm and cozy indoors with a nice steaming cup of coffee thank you very much.

I wasn't always this cynical about the rains; in fact show me a swollen cloud and you would find me right under it. But come school and those vile white divided skirt and stupid cotton blouse everything changed.
So there I was a happy, rain loving kid walking toward the school bus stop early in the morning. It had rained the previous night and as always Cochin was full of potholes each filled with murky, muddy waters. It was my first day of middle school and I was in my brand new, neatly pressed, stiff and perfect white divided skirt, cotton blouse and not to forget my super white canvas shoes. Happily skipping along water bottle in hand I reached a puddle big enough to drown me in. Right then a KSRTC bus from hell swerved into my path and in order to avoid flattening me, jumped into the humongous pothole drenching me from head to toe in gloppy brown gunk (I'd rather it had flattened me!). So yeah, first day of school+late as hell= superb impression amongst the staff
But I was not detered. I loved the rains even then.

Then came incident No.2. So there was this huge drain outside the school gates. I used wait next to it after school waiting for my driver to pick me up. This one rainy day I was dutifully waiting next to the bloody drain wearing that bloody white uniform, when  the school bullies decided to try something new and bull each other for a change. So amidst the pushing and shoving, they accidentally pushed me into drain (thank goodness it was filled with just rain water and loads of leaves!!)
Overflowing drain+ extremely dirtied and bruised ego and butt= bullied for 3 straight weeks with the pet name "kaana penne" (drain girl).
You would think the jinx would have worn off a bit by then but noooo! She had only just begun sharpening her nails.

Incident No 3 made me an utter favorite of the school bullies. I was never one for sports and I just about resembled a bowling ball. My classmates tsk tsked when I preferred reading a book to playing catch or whatever. One rainy day however,  I decided to indulge my classmates and joined them in a game of "Police and Robbers". As you would have guessed, I was made the unfortunate police and all the flashes made robbers. I managed to catch a couple of them much to my delight! One of the bullies ran next to our extremely muddy football field. I gave a strong chase. Infact, so strong I couldn't stop myself from running straight into the field. As the whole school watched, I stood there stuck in gunk! My canvas shoes were buried under the clayey soil and it took two of the seniors and a lot of elbow grease to get me out.
Muddy field+gunky canvas shoes+whole school watching= brand new canvas shoes+ never being picked for a game of any sort

The final straw that broke the camels back aka made me hate the rains forever was on the last day of school. It was raining of course and I missed the school bus. So my cousin said he would drop me on his scooter. The rain had stopped for a bit and we slowly waded through the overflowing street toward school. Wouldn't you know it, the scooter stalled halfway and there we were (me in my accursed white uniform) stuck in the middle of the road with a useless vehicle and dirty rain water upto our calves!! And every vehicle passing us just had to annoint us from head to toe in shitty water!!
And to make matters a game, set and match for the rains a horrendous downpour started. Thank god I was a kid then else I could have been eyed as doing my own school girl version of "Tip Tip Bharsa Paani" with my wet white uniform and all.
An hour of pushing the scooter back home I came down with a terrible fever and from that day forth I vowed to enjoy the rains from inside my room all safe and sound.

So the next time someone thinks of having a conversation with me about how "beautiful" the rains are, please be prepared to have your ear chewed off with incident after incident about a sorry rain jinxed individual.

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