A feeling...

There's always a point in one's life when one is caught in limbo between what one pretends to feel and that "feeling"-terrible and torturous as it is, that cannot be described...I am in limbo and i have a chant to describe that feeling of torment.

My mind comes to its senses at times and then again i chant...and chant...

Torrential sleet and pelting rain
Beating heart and piercing pain
Infernal suffering and sinking shame
This feeling I just can’t explain

Lost hope and dusty smiles
Rainbows that shine for a while
Loneliness and me inside a room that’s tiled
We slip and slide and meet at last
Under a dead sky that’s overcast
Give me a handshake, friend, firm and fast.

Torrential sleet and pelting rain
Beating heart and piercing pain
Infernal suffering and sinking shame
This feeling I just can’t explain

Kings and queens in their royal life
With pregnant belly lay someone’s wife
Eating hearts with a cruel sharp knife
With tears I sit and sadness begot
While others tie that sacred knot
This cloud in my head rains sad, sad thoughts.

Torrential sleet and pelting rain
Beating heart and piercing pain
Infernal suffering and sinking shame
This feeling I just can’t explain

People talk about my faults in case
Behind my back and right to my face
This black mark does not erase
Your black tongues, love they lack
My heart’s not kept ready for you to hack
You can’t say such things, just take them back

Torrential sleet and pelting rain
Beating heart and piercing pain
Infernal suffering and sinking shame
This feeling I just can’t explain

The stars are far beyond my reach
Cruel morals this life does teach
Boundaries of happiness this pain does breach
No one understands when I lash out at all
Life’s harsh beck its cruel call
And I lay trapped inside its blood stained walls

Torrential sleet and pelting rain
Beating heart and piercing pain
Infernal suffering and sinking shame
This feeling I just can’t explain

This feeling…