Monday, December 7, 2015

Dear Aarav

Dear Aarav

I often wonder about the kind of advice i would give you as you grow up. You have not even turned 2, yet here i am, your hyperventilating, OCD ridden mama already thinking about you in high school, college, working, getting married, having your own little ones and finally saying "mama! I get it now!" :)
What do i leave you with as you head toward your own? There are so many things i want to tell you my son.
I read today that besides being my little boy, you will some day become a husband and a father and that i as your mama have a crucial role play in your development for those roles. Of course juggling many roles does not come easy at all. So first and foremost, i ask you to be easy on yourself. It is OK to slip up. It is OK to make mistakes. What is NOT ok is for you to crucify yourself all your life for it. What is done is done. Pining about it does not help anyone. What you can do instead is work on improvement, closure and a promise to never repeat that mistake

Having said that, if your mind pauses for a moment before saying YES to something, be rest assured that it could be something wrong and you could be making a mistake. When your mind tells you to weigh your values, morales and humanity, you do just that and then decide. Take time with your decisions. Choosing a shirt, 10 minutes; but choosing your words? Choosing the love of your life? Choosing the right path? Take your own sweet time son. You can return the shirt but words, broken hearts and wrong doings are more in the non refundable/ non returnable section. So choose carefully.

Please make time to be happy. The world is competitive and yes, you will have to struggle to get to the top but let the clouds atop your throne not blind you from what really makes you happy. Take a little time out for that. Like fishing? Baking? Writing? Dancing? DO IT. Make time. Let the word "impossible" be scrubbed off your growing vocabulary because I know you can. Most importantly, more than me knowing you can, YOU need to understand that you can.

Be kind. Be gentle. Be giving. Be loving. Be humble. Be the one who puts others before himself. Be the boy who helps an old lady cross the road, the teen who helps his friends with difficult work, the man who treats an office boy with the same respect as a CEO, be the husband who makes his wife's eyes sparkle and be the father who is a hero to his child.  I can sum this up in two words. Be human.
Live with intergrity Aarav. Nothing else holds more value. Be true to yourself and never sell yourself out to make anybody else happy. Be a protector of righteousness and never, ever shun an opportunity to do the RIGHT THING.

Do not EVER pick on anyone. Every person is a miracle of god and not everyone is made the same. Someone may not be on the same lines as you physically, emotionally, mentally and that gives you absolutely no right to pick on them or bully them. What you can do is be there for them, make them feel good about themselves and help them hold their heads up high. Don't give into peer pressure. There is nothing more corrossive to developing your own. Do not let a single tear be shed on your account.

That special someone you will find along the way, treat that someone with respect. Be supportive, loving and caring. Spend quality time together. Spend quality time apart. Do not cheat. Be faithful and honest with your special half. And most importantly, TALK. Chuck away your phones and social media for a while each day and go old school. Talk about your day, talk about the future, talk about anything under the sun really. Enjoy intimacy; the feeling of togetherness both physically and emotionally. I said it before and i say it again...RESPECT your future partner.
And this little thing called respect is not specific to your future love; it goes for all men and women. Do not see those around you for their caste, colour, religious beliefs or sex. See them instead as coming from the same arms that of your maker. This thought will bring to mind the greatest feeling of equality.

And finally, the best advice i could leave you with. Pray. Aarav whenever you feel doubt, when you feel scared, when you feel lonely. Fold your hands, close your eyes and connect with your maker for a few minutes. Do not ever feel shame in proclaiming your faith. Bring to mind the fact that you are a mere speck in this leviathan universe that was created in utmost beauty. Indeed a  humbling a thought.

And now i concentrate on being only your mama and say that i love you so much my heart aches. When i saw you for the first time, your first smile, your first baby steps, your first word and so many more such delicious moments to come; each one made my heart skip a beat with absolute pride and joy. Each time i hug you and smell your sweet scent i am transported into a world of delight. When you snuggle into me my very soul smiles.

As you step out into the world, remember this letter my darling son and remember your mama who will cherish you for all eternity.

Love forever



  1. i hope it s not a private blog

    this is a beautiful letter ..he will surely

    1. Thank you so very much! I can't wait to read it to him :)

    2. Thank you so very much! I can't wait to read it to him :)

  2. Superb Teenu....Just brilliant.